Lest We Become

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Lest We Become

Note: I do not own Once Upon A Time, I do not make a profit from writing this story. The song sung is "We All Fall Down" by Sweet Talk Radio.
Joshua Callahan, Jerry, Lucy D. Skye, Klocke, and Edith are, however, characters of my own creation.
Beta/Thank Yous: Special thanks to pandorasimp for being my beta and to the lovely josiefier for egging this on and being my endless to go for help and support. I would be lost without you, my girl!
Timeline: "A land without magic"
Rating: PG13 (language and mild violence)
Setting: Storybrooke
Cast (by order of appearance/mention): Joshua Callahan (OMC), Mother Superior, Doctor Archibald Hopper, Jerry (OMC), Paige, Jefferson, Jim, Lucy (OFC), Mary Mageret Blanchard, Klocke (OMC), Ruby Lucas, Emma Swan, Ashley Boyd, Kind Midas, Pongo, Regina Mills, Mr. Gold, Belle





He closed his eyes and took a breath. Breathe in, breathe out. In, out, in, out, slow and deep. It was such a seemingly innate act but for him, the struggle was on the pace to slow his body and mind. Some days he swore he felt something wanting to tear out of his skin, a beast from deep within.

He never understood why each day started and ended this way. He led a good, simple life. There was nothing to bring on the rage. He was a music teacher, devoted to his craft and his students. Sure he would occasionally bump heads with Mother Superior over the church choir, but that never warranted the pure rage that he would wake in.

Apparently it was a mystery to Doctor Archibald Hopper as well, a man who had known him for years, not only personally but on a professional level. Since there was no apparent cause for the rage, they focused on how to slow it and how to sooth the anger.

Breathing techniques were the first. The second lesson was counting. The third and best was unconventional. It happened by accident, when he arrived early for his session, he found Archie playing the clarinet. He was no stranger to music, given his career, but there was something in what the man was playing. A slow, comfortable tune.

It felt...hypnotizing...as the anger melted away from within Joshua, he looked up to Archie with a small smile. "I guess music soothes the savage beast, eh?" And that was the beginning of the treatment.

As he clawed out for his iPod and snatched up his earphones his hands shook. He finally located one of the songs that usually helped him. As a delicate melody began on the piano, a guitar began to play. Slowly the guitar picked up and a woman's haunting voice began. He closed his eyes and began to vocalize with her.

oh, oh, ohhhh
The moon and the sun
We all come undone
The night steals the ground
We all fall down
Oh, oh, ohhh

He continued to vocalize and felt himself calm. A sigh of relief escaped him. Leaving the earphones on, he let the song switch to another song. As he headed down to the kitchen, he let his voice raise, belting out the lyrics he knew by heart.

And thus, was the extremely wearing morning routine of Joshua Callahan.

It was becoming exhausting, to fight such a rage that would rise for no reason at all. He did not realize it in the passing years but it was becoming more and more evident each day. As he sat on his couch, sipping a warm cup of tea, his phone rang. With a sigh he leaned over and grabbed it, "Hello?"

"Good morning Monsieur," drawled a thick French accent considering how they were in New England.

"Yes, Jerry?" Joshua asked, wearily. He loved the man like a brother but it did not stop anger rising in him.

There was a throaty laugh on the other end, "I see you are cranky again, eh? Maybe you should get laid, might help."Joshua humored several thoughts. The top two were throwing his phone across the room and the other was going two doors down and throttling his friend. "Do you have a point?"

"Just calling to get your schedule,” The other man insisted sounded wounded.

Once again, an impatient sigh escaped Joshua, "It never changes and you know that."

"So you should be expecting Miss Paige anytime?"

"Yes, Jerry," he was about to hang up but what Jerry said next made his heart stop.

The playful tone in Jerry's ended as he gravely murmured, "You do realize there is a man sneaking into your backyard. I've been keeping an eye on him, he comes promptly about this time and remains until your protégé leaves."

Joshua slowly stood, not wanting to seem suspicious, he did what he usually did when waiting, he paced. "Is he there now?"

"Oui, in a black outfit, he seems so sad..."

"Thanks for your evaluation on the stalker outside my house," he hissed.

Jerry sighed, "I'm only looking out for you," he stated wearily.

This time it was Joshua who was weary, "And you always have. Thank you for putting up with me, I am an ungrateful bastard. I do not appreciate your loyalty, especially with my temper."

"We know that temper isn't you, something is causing it. Maybe if you go beat up that man you'll feel better!"

"Try not to sound so cheerful about that, you know I've never hit a person in my life," Joshua said, unable to help a small grin from forming on his lips.

Jerry laughed, "No better time to do it! Go get him mon capitain!"

"Aye, aye!" Joshua stated and hung up. Placing the phone back on the hook, he decided his course of action.

Heading upstairs, he decided to get a drop on the stalker. He wouldn’t expect that. Thankfully he had no fear of heights or jumping from them. He learned that lesson when he assisted Jim, his fellow teacher at Storybrooke, in fixing his roof. It scared Jim's cousin Lucy half to death when he fell off the roof after losing his footing. It wasn't a long fall, and it didn't hurt. Once they checked him, they didn't see any damage, not even a bruise.
"You're a beast, aren’t you?" Lucy had asked in awe, her big blue eyes as wide as they could possibly be.

He laughed and shrugged it off, "it appears so."

And now it was time to prove it.

As he went into his room, he slowly and silently, opened the window and leaned out. He saw the strange man in black settling down outside his downstairs window. Before Joshua could even register what he was doing, he leapt down, pouncing on the man. Given his solid stature compared to the man's thinner frame, Joshua rolled off but seized him around the neck.

"What in the hell do you think you're doing?" Joshua demanded, "Perving in on a child? Give me one reason why I shouldn't end this now!" he couldn't help the anger and fury that rose within in. He adored Paige like she was his own and he would never let anyone harm her.

The man held up his hands, "She's my daughter!" he insisted with such conviction in his voice Joshua lowered the man back to the ground.

"She’s never mentioned she's adopted and neither have her parents or any of her records."

The man let out a strangled cough, Joshua loosened his grip, "That's because they don't know! I keep track of those who come into contact with her and it's not just her I watch here. It's you. I don't want the chance of a beast harming my child!"

"Why does everyone keep calling me that?!" Joshua asked, releasing the man and combing his fingers through his recently buzzed dark blonde hair.

The man in black smiled, readjusting his ascot, "Because you are. People joke about it here but it's what you really are. A beast, cursed by a scorned enchantress."

"At first I thought you were a pervert and now I think you're just mad," Joshua glared, taken back when the man grinned.

He bowed, "And right you are, I am Jefferson, known mostly as The Mad Hatter."

"Oh boy," Joshua stated, then turned his attention to a voice calling for him.

"Mr. Callahan! Where are you?"

He could see her through the window going room to room, "Paige," he whispered.

"Her name is Grace and she is mine," Jefferson told him and swiftly smashed his foot into Joshua's side. Usually that wouldn’t have fazed him but that area was a weak spot, Joshua doubled over. "And you are the Beast, Prince of a Frozen Realm."

Joshua growled, "You're crazy! If I get my hands on you again-"
Jefferson smiled, "You won't. You caught me only because I allowed it. It's time to start waking up, Prince."

And just like that, Jefferson vanished. It almost seemed like magic, a thought Joshua pushed away. As he climbed to his feet, the backdoor opened and Paige appeared on the porch.

"Mr. Callahan, are you ok?" concern filling every part of her face and voice but she, herself, looked troubled and exhausted. He noticed the wear in the young girl more and more.

He looked up to her and faked a smile, "Yeah, fine, just overexerted myself," he assured her. Though she eyed him suspiciously, she seemed to accept his answer. “Let's get on with your lessons."

"Not that I need them," she muttered heading inside.

Joshua shook his head, since what she said was indeed true. She was a natural at all things music, especially at the piano. But it never stopped her from coming each week. As they headed in, he found himself asking her,

"Paige, am I a Beast?"

She have him a look that clearly read 'you're nuts'.

"Care to elaborate on that look?" he asked, laughing softly.

"Can I be frank?" she asked.

He smiled, "Why not."

She studied him for a long time before she spoke, and when she did, it surprised him. "You have the build for it. Tall, huge, big arms. I've heard you have a temper but you hide it well. But what makes a beast is personality, not looks. You're a good man, Mr. Callahan, I feel safe with you. Around certain people I feel funny, like something isn't right, but I feel better when I'm around you."

As she sat down on the piano bench, her eye became focused on the keys and refused to meet his gaze. "Who makes you feel that way?"

"Certain kids at school, Principal Klocke, my parents," she admitted.

He understood some of the kids, he picked up on those feelings too, but not about his boss. "Klocke is no bother, he's just a stuffy man obsessed with punctuality. How do you feel with your parents?"

"Like...they aren't mine. It's weird, I know it's weird but sometimes I feel like this is all a joke and when I wake up I'll be in my true home with my real family." he felt his heartbreak as her eyes glittered with tears.

He knelt down beside the bench, and lifted her chin. "You're not alone, I feel like that sometimes too."

With a sob of relief she threw herself at him and cried until she could cry no more.

---

It was later that week as Joshua sat across from Jerry. The other man was flirting obnoxiously with Ruby. The woman didn't seem to mind and was feeding off of him. Once he heard the words 'candles' and something about "hoes" when he had to interrupt them.

"Time and place!"

Ruby winked, "Later and at the counter," she waggled her brows and walked off laughing.

"Spoilsport," Jerry pouted, "You're so serious!"

Joshua sighed, "Do you ever feel like this life is a lie? Like it’s not real?"

Jerry arched his brows, "Sometimes but is the world nothing but an illusion? Perhaps a dream?" he asked with a dramatic sigh.

"I was being serious," Joshua frowned.

"I was being poetic," Jerry grinned and took a sip of his drink, which was what had in a jolly mood. "And possibly Buddhist."

Joshua's palm met his face, "Why do I even bother?"

"Because you love me?" Jerry asked, batting his eyes.

That made Joshua laugh, "And you're lucky I do."

"I know it. You're stalker is here," Jerry said, nodding to the door.

Joshua turned to see Jefferson entering Granny's, heading straight for them. He jerked his head at Jerry, signaling for him to move. He looked to Joshua first, who nodded then slid over. As soon as Jefferson was sitting, Ruby place a cup of tea in front of him. He murmured a 'thank you' and locked eyes with Joshua.

"Do you believe yet?"

"I’m starting to," Joshua said.

Jerry blinked at him, "So this is who is putting such thoughts in your mind."

"If the peanut gallery would kindly be quiet," Jefferson stated, his voice was low and there was a particular chill in his words. Jerry mimed zipping his lips, "Thank you. Grace feels it, doesn't she?"

"Yes, the poor thing was nearly inconsolable," Joshua informed him.

The pained look in Jefferson's face made the other man ache, "It's because she is a child. Even here children believe in magic so strongly. The curse was never thought out properly, it was a tool of vengeance, coming from rage that could make hell stare in awe. He never stopped to think what would happen to children, or to those carrying one..."

"What are you talking about?" Jerry asked, seemingly interested as he listened closely.

Jefferson gave him a sideways glance, "Your maid, Ashley Boyd, think back as far as you can, as many years. What's the one thing that seems so wrong now? Now that time has begun again?"

"Gods...she's been pregnant...until Emma Swan arrived..." Jerry stated slowly and drained his drink. He held up his empty glass, Ruby's heels clicked as she grew closer. He set his glass down and instead of letting her pour him a new glass, he grabbed the bottle and started drinking.

Ruby looked mildly alarmed, "Geeze, what's got him so worked up."

"Nothing, Red," Jefferson stated.

Joshua watched as a haunted look crossed the woman's face. She paled even more than usual, her fingers were shaking, "Don't call me that. I don't like it. Excuse me," Ruby practically sprinted into the back and didn't come out for some time.

"What did you do?" Joshua asked, "Who's Red?"

"Little Red Riding Hood, you Beast. Or should I call you Adam?"

As the name left Jefferson's lips, a blur of images flashed through his mind. It felt like a life he had lived, his true being. Amongst the images were hands becoming claws, the pain of bones twisting and reshaping, the howls of agony as horns ripped through flesh...

When Joshua snapped out of it, Jefferson was at his side, rubbing his back. It was oddly soothing and probably a sight to see but all Joshua could do was try not to vomit. "Easy, easy, I know..." the man was murmuring.”At least you took it better than the others I tried to wake."

"Who else is there?" Jerry asked.

Jefferson sighed, "Everyone. The whole town.

"Give me an example," Joshua stated.

"Your coworkers, Mary Margaret and Jim. She is Snow White, he is Sir Frederick, betrothed of Abigail, the daughter of King Midas," he stated casually as he sat back down and sipped his tea.

Joshua couldn't figure out if the man across from him was insane or not. Part of him was in denial, but there was a small part of him that felt he was right. It explained so many things he had only recently noticed. Jerry hiccupped, a dangerous sign that his friend would not be coherent much longer.

"I need to bring him home," Joshua said, Jefferson stood, pulling the other man up and out with him as if he weighed nothing. It was such a sight considering how tall Jerry was.

Jefferson leaned close, "I'll be seeing you," he promised, tossing down money as he strutted for the door.

"Why?" Joshua called, maneuvering his arm around Jerry, so he could help the man stumble home. "Why me why do you care?"

Jefferson looked positively eerie, it was probably the unsettling grin on his face, "because you mean the world to the most important person to me. I'm extending a friendship that may just save your hide one day." with that he was gone.

"Fucking weirdo," Ruby stated from the counter, she was pretending to work but Joshua could tell she was still innerved from earlier and in truth, so was he.

After pouring Jerry into bed, Joshua walked through the night as the crickets sang. He passed Doctor Hopper and Pongo on the way, the dog always shied away from him. He realized Lucy's Perdita did the same, either they knew something he didn't or Dalmatians hated him. He bid the good Doctor a good night, almost bumping into Ruby who was hurrying after Archie. She raised her finger to her lips and quietly crept up behind Archie. The sound of her hand connecting with his ass and his yelp echoed down the street.

Ruby was laughing hard, as she twirled around so she was in front of him. She blew him a kiss before continuing her strut home. Archie looked back at Joshua who shrugged and smiled. He continued on his way, noting his bedroom light was on. With a curse he burst in and up, rolling his eyes when threw his door open.

Jefferson was sprawled across his bed, fully clothes. He waved his fingers at him, grinning broadly. "Hi Honey! You're home!"

"You have issues." Joshua stated, somehow not surprised when the other man answered.

"Sure do, handsome and you're going to help me."

Joshua toed off his shoes, sitting on the empty side of the bed. "And why would I do that?"

"To help me, to keep Grace safe, there is a war coming and I need you to wake up and help me," Jefferson said, sitting up, bowing on the mattress. "I beg you, please, I need to know that you can help me keep her safe."

Joshua could not help but relent, "Help me remember then."

Jefferson lifted his head and grinned, "Alright then! I thank you, your highness and apologies, this is going to hurt like hell."

He plunged a needle into Joshua's neck. The man got as far as "Whu-" before he fell off the bed and hit floor with a hard thud. His vision faded to black as Jefferson was coming around the bed and he knew no more.

---

As he awoke in a fog, he felt...odd. It wasn't the drugs or from bashing his head into the floor. It was so many mixed feelings, he felt haunted. The man he was, wasn't his true identity. It was all coming clear. He tried to move his hands to his face but he couldn't move his arms. He drew in a breath, realizing he was tied to a chair. From the feel, it was a wooden chair from his kitchen. Suddenly, outside he could hear someone singing something loudly (and drunkenly) je ne regret rien. His vision cleared just enough to see Jefferson looking out and shaking his head.
"What's that?"

The Hatter turned, an amused grin on his face, "Your friend is serenading your bosses’ wife. He's got a good range considering he's down the road."

"Naturally, she's his love. How Babette ever ended up with Cogsworth is truly a curse for them all. Especially Lumiere, that love sick fool."

The Hatter's face brightened, "You remember?"
Adam nodded, "It seems so strange...I feel normal again. I haven't felt this at home in years."

"28 to be exact. What about the beast? It's why I gave you more sedatives," Jefferson asked, coming to stand across from him.

Adam grinned, "We are one, you don't have to fear it. The rage I felt as Joshua was due to the Beast reacting to the curse. When I change form, I do not lose my mind, we are separate in form only. Would you like a demonstration?"

The Hatter laughed, flashing a mischievous grin, "Perhaps."

The former Prince closed his eyes. Exhaling, he focused on the beast that resided within him. He felt an overwhelming rush of heat as his blood grew hot and his organs began to shift. His bones began to twist and reform. Two curled horns burst from his forehead, causing blood to drip down his face. Thankfully the drugs lessened the pain. He felt his body expand and grow larger. His weight increased and the bindings that held him snapped. The chair creaked dangerously, not use to having to support that much weight. He landed on all fours, as his hair grew and fur coated his body. He felt his tail grow, he reached back and clawed at his pants, which were all ready ripping. Once his tail was free, he pushed himself up. His head was dangerously close to the ceiling, towering over Jefferson.

"Wow, you really are a beast," he breathed.

Adam chuckled, it was a deep growling noise that radiated through the room. "I am. But it's not all bad, if the dangers you say are coming, at least I'll be able to help you protect Grace."

Jefferson beamed at him, "Wonderful!"

"Mind if I change back?"

"You may want to."

Adam sighed, forcing his body to change back. It was as painful as changing to the beast to begin with. Once he finished he felt his knees buckle and Jefferson lunged forward to catch him.

"I've never been able to change at will, could this be because we're here?" Adam asked as Jefferson helped him onto the bed.

"Probably. Magic is so limited in this realm, perhaps it's because I'm in your company? I am a magic man after all, maybe I helped will the transformation? Maybe Regina's curse is blocking the Enchantress's? I don't think we'll ever know."

Adam sighed, "Those all seem plausible and logical."

Jefferson chuckled, "I may be a mad man at times but I'm a very logical one. Sleep now, friend, I will see you tomorrow."

Unable to fight the sudden urge, Adam rolled over and quickly fell asleep.

When he opened his eyes, he smiled. The rage, the anger didn't rise. He felt...normal, like this was how his life was meant to be. As he went down to the kitchen, he found Jefferson making breakfast. He was not in his usual black but in white scrubs.

"Morning!"

Adam laughed, "You are taking this friendship thing very seriously, aren't you?"

Jefferson smiled, "Of course, you're awake now, it's easier to be around someone who knows. My only other choices are Regina and Rumpelstiltskin and I would rather not."

"I appreciate the honor," Adam said, getting some coffee.

The Hatter nodded, "And you're a Prince and a Beast, to be on your bad side is just silly, and deadly. Here you are," he handed the man a very full plate.

Adam plopped down rather ungracefully and was about to bring the fork to his lips when Jefferson suddenly stopped. He dropped the frying pan to the floor, Adam saw the man's hands shaking.

"What? Are you hurt?" when silence greeted him, he stood lurching forward to shake the other man. "Jefferson!"

The man blinked hard, "Pardon me, Prince, do you not feel that? The curse...it's...breaking! Come with me!" he bolted out the door, helplessly Adam followed. As he looked around he saw several people coming out into the streets. Gold, or Rumpelstiltskin as he recognized him now was quickly heading out of town. A Mousey woman with matted dark hair followed suit, but their eyes met for one moment. He felt his breath leave him, but she didn't stop, she continued on with the man. Never breaking their hurried stride.

That’s when he felt it, the warm sweep of magic passing through him, it felt like love. A mother’s love. After that he heard Babette shrieking down the road. As he turned the woman was sprinting to him, launching herself into his arms. He laughed, stance solid as she climbed him like a tree.

"Adam!!" she was shrieking, laughing through tears.

He laughed, placing a kiss on her cheek, "Bonjour ma plume, I have missed you as I missed my younger soeur."

She grinned as he effortlessly held her as she weighed nothing, "I cannot believe I have been married to that stuffy clock this whole time! Mon dieu! At least we did not consummate the marriage!"

"Well that's a relief, mon amour!" Lumiere stated as he swaggered up, oozing charm as he had always done. Adam was temporary deafen as Babette screamed and threw herself at him. Adam just arched his brows as his dearest cohorts rolled in the street.

"My, my always making a scene," Cogsworth muttered, stepping over them. "I'm thankful our marriage was a sham." Babette would have answered had she not been currently attached to Lumiere's face. "Ah, sire, I wish to apologize-"

Adam waved his hand, "No need, old friend, it was all a spell. I would never hold ill will to the man who raised me."
Cogsworth smiled, tears actually appeared in his eyes, "And what a man you grew to be, my boy."

Jefferson cleared his throat, "As lovely as this is, we have magic coming, if you wanted to go home, now would be the time...do you have a way? I have mine," he pulled out a hand from thin air, put it on and tipped it to Adam as a purple cloud raced for them.

"Oh!" Babette jumped up, holding out her hand to them, Adam grinned.

He removed her ring, holding it in his palm to Jefferson, "This is a ring that has been in my family as far back as we can trace it. It can transport the wearer to where their heart desires."

Jefferson grinned, "Use it well, my friend, I will see you in another life!" then vanished in a haze of purple smoke, his laughter ringing around them.

Adam looked at his friends, "Are we ready?" he asked, smiles greeted him and as he pulled his arms around them tight.

Feeling at peace for the first time in years, he slipped the ring on and breathed out. Picturing his home, the ancient castle upon a tall, snow covered mountain. A world covered in white, thick sheets of snow and ice as far as the eye could see...

But when he opened his eyes, he gasped in horror as the realm he loved lay in ruins before him.
“Non…”

---
Fin.

And thus, my introduction of Prince Adam/The Beast into Once Upon A Time. This is one of many tales of him. I cannot and will not help it.